New Beginnings

At the beginning of each New Year, I like to set up a plan for the year. What do I want to learn? Where do I want to go and how can I make this year better than the last?

Before we know it, the year sweeps us off our feet and we are thrown into the frenzy of life, treading the same familiar path as before, unless we plan otherwise. We call these plans Resolutions, and we all know how those good intentions dissolve in the hot summer sun.  We start out really well but then the Peanut Gallery of your mind gets involved and everything unravels.

Your mind is part of you, but it’s not you. That Peanut Gallery of conversation which you hold with yourself is there to keep you safe but it rarely is supportive. On the second day of your new fitness routine, the Peanuts start to discuss the merits of starting slowly. Perhaps I should take tomorrow off so that I don’t get too stiff. Next Monday would be a good day to start again. But on Monday you are still a tiny bit stiff so the Peanuts suggest starting tomorrow. The days go by and the resolution is starting to fade. This is when the Peanuts suggest starting in February…

Being aware of what you are thinking is key to maintaining momentum with the changes you want to make in your life. The thoughts are just bubbles of information and you do not have to listen to them. When an unsupportive thought happens, consider it and then decide if you are going to follow the Peanut Gallery or take back your power with a more supportive thought. You always have the choice. The Peanuts will try to convince you that you must eat that piece of cake because it will be the last one for a long time. Really? When it comes to curbing food temptations, I find that telling myself “Not this time” really helps.  I am not giving anything up forever, just in this moment. Next time I get to choose again. Practice makes perfect and practicing making good choices makes it easier to choose well in future.

So my wish for you for this year is that you may be aware of what you are thinking, that you have the power to make good choices and that your resolutions bring about the changes you desire.

Happy 2019. Until next time, Keep Moving…

True Colours

As a child, I loved a new pack of crayons or Koki pens. The potential of those unused, pristine colours was inspiring and I felt compelled to test each colour to see how it looked on the paper. There were usually eight or sometimes twelve colours in a pack. I remember once receiving a pack of twenty five colours! Glorious, wonderful variations of green and peach, lilac and tan, colours I had never had before. Each colour was unique and beautiful and I loved that. There was a feeling of let down and disappointment when two colours, though different in their outer wrapping, proved to be the same on paper. I felt cheated.

So why is it that as humans we strive so hard to be like others? We want to look like others, dress as others dress, have what others have. We are so afraid to own our style and uniqueness. We judge ourselves against others and what others will think of us and our work. That age old fear of failure, of not being good enough, is lurking in the depths of us all. It limits us, curbs our potential. We try to emulate others by doing as they do and so we fail because we cannot be what we are not. An orange crayon can’t be blue. It can only be orange, glorious in its own right with its own unique potential. Just think how orange turns the sky from summer-day blue, to a vibrant sunset.  Because we judge ourselves to be “less than”, we think others will think the same. We rob the world of our own unique contribution and we cheat ourselves of our sunset potential.

Each and every one of us has a purpose for being here, one which only we can fulfil. Do we not owe it to the world to do whatever it takes to find our unique colour and add it to the box of crayons? What drives you? What do you love? Do you love something because it stirs your soul or because a significant other loves it? Do you love something but pretend not to for fear of judgement or ridicule? Own you, be you, love you and don’t be so quick to judge. Self-judgement disempowers you and steals your gifts from the world just as a box full of only red crayons steals the delight of a child. Draw what you love, film what you love, do what you love. If you HAVE to have a fear, which you don’t, let it be a fear of NOT. Not saying your say, Not showing your idea of beautiful, Not sharing what makes your soul sing.

From this moment on, make a deal with yourself to pick your colour, love it, flaunt it and never hide it in favour of another. Being you will only deepen and enrich your colour, so find more that is you, grow and learn and Keep Moving…

It’s a Girl’s Life.

Who are you? A man may answer this by giving his name and occupation, both of which may stay more or less the same throughout his life. “I am Fred and I am a geologist.” As a woman, I have had a different experience of life. As a child I was somebody’s daughter. Then I became somebody’s girlfriend, fiancé, wife. I didn’t work then, so I was categorised as the wife. As the years passed I became pregnant and fulfilled the role of incubator for nine months, not that this became any official listing in my resume. The official appointment of Mother, on the other hand, was quickly added with the arrival of my daughter.  “I am —-‘s wife and  —‘s mother”  Unofficially, at the same time, I was the delegated milk bottle. If the baby was crying, the only one who could remedy the situation was The Milk Bottle. Mother was a really BIG job. The job description looked like this…Cook food for man and child, feed child (and later, after my second child was born, children) cleaning of children, cleaning up after man, cleaning house, nursing man and children, knowing where everything in the house could be found (including things like car keys, wallets and butter!). Later teacher of children was added as I had to home school for a number of years. Other menial jobs included driver, sport coach, peace keeper, dictionary and general helper-with-anything-and-everything.

As women, our role is re-invented every few years. We shift roles to accommodate those we love and many of the roles are never relinquished. We are forever someone’s wife, someone’s daughter, sister, mother. Each role demands different expectations, compounding over time until we have forgotten who WE are. Without these roles, who is underneath all the work?

If you find yourself resonating with this, then today is the day for you to choose to change, choose YOU over all the noise of life and start a journey of discovery. Who have you become? What do you love? What do you hate? What is your life purpose? It is never too late to start living your own life. This may feel scary and seem impossible but you don’t have to do this alone. My work as a Life Coach is to support and guide you as you find a better, more fulfilling life. Your life is yours and yours alone, to do whatever you wish. That doesn’t mean you can’t share your life with loved ones and family, it just means that you also have the right to fulfillment. To you, that may mean having a new career or a new hobby. It could be to feel more emotional stability or more spiritual connection. Before you decide that there isn’t time for such a pursuit, let me remind you that as a woman, there is never time for self unless you choose to make the time. Don’t wait until your life has passed you by. Start finding yourself today.

Once the journey has begun it’s easy to keep moving…